Letters Between Sundays

How can this be a daily blog if I’ve been M.I.A. the last two weeks? Well, I can tell you—I’ve been making a lot of excuses for why I haven’t been writing.

What does M.I.A. stand for? It means Missing in Action. But was I really missing, or was I just making excuses?

When I decided to stop writing my daily blogs, I told myself it was for God. I’ve been going through some things, and I know that fasting can help you hear Him more clearly, draw closer to Him, and ultimately help change your heart and mind. So, I told myself I would fast from my blog.

In the Bible, fasting is often about food, but if you have health issues or take medication that requires food, you can fast from other things. Ultimately, you can fast from anything you enjoy, anything that comes before God, or anything that brings you discomfort. For me, giving up TV wasn’t a big deal—I could live without it. But fasting from one of my hobbies, something I’ve poured time into—like this blog—that was tough. It’s not that blogging is bad, but fasting means showing God you’re willing to lay down anything and everything to grow closer to Him.

But as the days went on, I wasn’t spending time in prayer or in my Bible during this “fast.” I started to wonder: why am I even doing this? Then it hit me—I’ve been struggling with a lot: my thoughts, my eating, people-pleasing, self-hatred, and most of all, depression. And instead of being honest with myself, I used “fasting” as a way to cover up the fact that I wasn’t keeping up with my writing. That way, I didn’t have to feel guilty.

I didn’t realize this until last week, and when I did, I felt awful. But it also made me think: do I have too much on my plate right now? Am I expecting more from myself than I can realistically handle? It was a lot to process.

I realized I’ve been putting too much pressure on myself, setting deadlines I couldn’t keep up with on top of life. So from now on, with this blog, I’m choosing peace. I’ll decide each day whether I’m going to write or not. Who knows—maybe it’ll be last minute, like this post. – goodnight